This book raises questions that perhaps only kids of the seventies and eighties might comprehend; Why is it that when Richard Madeley accidentally shoplifts a bottle of champagne the media are all over it, and yet the Clangers long-term addition to crystal meth has gone unreported? Have you noticed the Action Men, crawling on their bellies in the park? And the voice in the call centre, the stroppy one, didn’t she once date a famous frog? Who is that familiar-looking, mangy green duck on a mobility scooter on his way to the bingo? Gordon has gone feral, but where is he? And why is there never a queue outside the mysterious Museum For Abandoned Shoes? And more questions; Is it true that Rod Hull’s autopsy went missing and will the line about Tarby allegedly getting his knob caught in the windmill at crazy golf make it past this book’s Editor? Someone is pulling the strings, and nobody dare squeak a word.